When it comes to songwriting I like to start with the lyric and hash out the story and words on a computer. I have a lot of bits and pieces in my notes app. Some make it and some don’t. Some pieces get squished together. Others get forgotten and left behind. There is one recurring theme that haunts the salvage yard of unfinished songs, my family, specifically my parents and the trans trauma I experienced growing up with the wounds I feel today as they continue to deny my experience. By deny my experience I mean that they recognize me as trans and use the right pronouns, etc. but they are Trumpers and don’t really recognize how bad they were when I was growing up and how their political choices heap more hurt and pain onto those old wounds. Here’s the latest rough draft of another abandoned song about them. Sorry about the double spacing below, grandpa Ed can't figure out the formatting;-)
You never believed
You didn’t want to see
You told me I didn’t know what was inside of me
You called it a phase
I’d outgrow it someday
Those bully’s would stop if I tried to be pretty
You said I’ll never be real
you tossed words that steal
All of my dreams and my inner reality
You shook your head
with sorrow and dread
Wishing for me to be normal instead
You wave flags for your cause
Your leaders pass their laws
Make me illegal and it gives you no pause
You think I overreact
It can’t be like that
You cling to your fears and push away facts