I came out as trans between 1994-1996. I’ve been on T since August of 1996. Back then I so often felt isolated and alone. When I first started coming out, I had one trans guy friend. I was a novelty as a date, always everyone’s “first.” I’m here today because of other trans people and their visibility. I needed Leslie Feinberg, the FTM International newsletter and Loren Cameron’s book, Body Alchemy, to come out. I needed to see myself in other trans masculine people to find a path to being my full, authentic self. Thank you to those who came before me and who’s visibility made a difference to me.
When many years later someone tells me that my visibility had an impact on them, people who didn’t tell me back then, it means so much to me and it also makes me sad. Like I wish I could have been a better, warmer, kinder, more approachable person. I try to give myself a break because I know that the armor I’ve worn has been forced upon me by years and years of trans trauma. Trauma that came from enduring anti-trans hatred and you guessed it, from not having visible, positive trans role models. I love you, my trans community, our visibility and resilience feed each other’s souls. Thank you.